Today I got to avoid some rainy, humid Texas weather with some of my best friends, a soft dog, a great movie, and an equally great sandwich. After spending time with Dan and my baby best friend (who isn't so much of a baby anymore), the little one went to her grandparents' house to avoid some potentially traumatizing on-screen violence while Rachel and I sat down to enjoy Kill Bill Vol. 2. I love both Kill Bill movies, probably Vol. 1 more than Vol. 2, but Vol. 2 is still great, funny, awesomely violent, AND it includes a delicious sandwich! But before we get to this childhood nostalgia-inducing delight, let's talk a little bit about Kill Bill Vol. 2.
As with all Sandwich Cinema screenings, I take notes during the movie on things we say / notice / laugh at -- but honestly, there weren't too many snarky comments; and not for lack of trying, because the truth is that Rachel and I are hilarious AND very judgmental. I think the thing is that this is just a really good movie. That being said, there were a few things that we did notice during this viewing:
- Early on, Rachel asked a very insightful question "How did all these people become assassins?" Seriously -- what did they do before Bill recruited them? And how even did he find out about them (Bud excluded, of course)?
- Also, what did they actually do as highly-trained assassins? Like, who were their targets? Clearly they got them from Bill, but where did Bill get them from? Were they personal grudges? Or was Bill selling out his Deadly Viper Assassination Squad? Rachel: "They remind me of the people on the TV show Arrow. All they seem to do is get into fights with each other. They never get like, rented out."
- Uma Thurman is incredible in this movie. She can fight, look beautiful after being buried alive, deliver cheesy lines perfectly, and managed to make me cry, even though I've seen this movie before. Rachel: "It's really a shame that no other director seems to know what to do with her."
- Bill is pretty intolerable. He tells stories constantly, and tells them poorly, sometimes interrupting his own stories with extended flute playing. Me: "I don't think I would ever be with a guy who is such a horrible, pretentious story teller." Rachel: "I don't think I could ever be with a man who plays a wooden flute."
During one of Bill's EXTENDED pontifications in which he details the death of his daughter's goldfish, Emilio, Bill makes some cold cut sandwiches for himself, Beatrix, and B.B. At first glance, these sandwiches look like they'd be disgusting, but if you thought that, as I did, you'd be so, so wrong.
I watched the scene several times and scoured the Internet trying to nail down exactly what went into this sandwich (the exact ingredients, incidentally, seem to change from sandwich to sandwich in the movie), and I'm pretty sure that the final ingredient list is:
- White Bread (Bimbo brand)
- American Cheese
- Swiss Cheese
- Yellow Mustard and Mayonnaise
In general, I try to avoid overly-processed foods, which means that white bread, bologna, and Kraft singles are off the table. Which is CRAZY, because these things are delicious! I think a lot of people instinctively recoil at the mention of bologna, but the truth is that those people are just wrong--because bologna is amazing. Oscar Meyer all beef bologna. Do it. This week. Pair it with a Kraft single on white bread if you know what's good for you. Make it like the movie version and cut the crusts off, and then cut the sandwich in half with a giant butcher knife. Just incredible.
While eating this, Rachel and I kept remarking that 1) the sandwich reminded us of our childhood, and 2) the white bread was basically dissolving in our mouths after sticking to the roofs of our mouths. I honestly cannot wait to re-eat this sandwich for lunch all week until the leftover ingredients are gone.
I also think I'll spend the rest of the afternoon watching Kill Bill Vol. 1.